I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
