im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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