sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
