We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
