At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
