maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
