ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
