yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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