In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
