xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize