Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
