Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
