Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
