What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
