How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
