My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
