I hate your face
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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