'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dicks are not precious.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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