Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
