Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize