ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
