So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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