i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
