Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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