kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
