this just has baby written all over it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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