Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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