I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
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I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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