a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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