He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
