More tranny stories later!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
