i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
