also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
