I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
