Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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