I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize