I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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