finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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