He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
