Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
