are you still at the devil's house?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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