I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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