I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
