Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
