Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
