She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
