wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
