I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How naked do you want me to be?
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