I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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