She's JV to your varsity
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
