So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
