I wish I could teleport
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
