My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year