she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good