Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
