I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.