yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Don't tell me you're on acid again