Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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