I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
