Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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