Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
