the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well you can't waste a boner
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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