Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
