So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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