he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your cock deserves a montage
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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