What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
