Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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