I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
