i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They took my balls.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
