do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Randomize
