So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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