Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
