plz talk dirty to me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
