at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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