So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
