This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just googled if crying burns calories
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
