butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
