So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
3pm strippers are depressing
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
